I was listening to a Podcast recently on resilience – a word loosely used more often in the 21st century, without the urgency that should really be hiding behind it.
I sometimes wish I had worked on and built a greater cellar of resilience before this event in my life occurred. But, if I live my life by looking back at what ‘could have’ been, i’m only going to live in reverse… and that makes no sense whatsoever!
As i’m beginning to learn, life has a way of sending you what you need, when you need it – whether you think it’s right or wrong at the time is to some degree, irrelevant.
In her podcast, Lucy Hone talks about her journey through her resilience training and her unthinkable experience of losing her 12 year old daughter, her friend Ella and Ella’s Mum in a car crash, which killed all 3 of them, instantly.
According to Hone, studies have shown that parental bereavement is the hardest of losses to go through. You are prime candidates for family estrangements, likely to get divorced and at high risk of mental illness. Basically, you can write off the next 5 years to Grief –> If you choose that path.
I haven’t wanted to choose that path of losing the next 5 years of my life. I’ve made choices for my future recently that I can see the potential with, but also make me want to cry and return to the shoulda, coulda, woulda scenario. But, tuning into the good, being deliberate and intentional with my way of being and asking myself ‘is it harmful or is it helpful’, have been the ultimate tools to finding the light switch in an empty room, when the world went eerily black.
Being alive means having to live through tough times. I understand that at a deeper level now, more than I ever have before. I’ve made a choice to think differently now and walk forward in a way that allows room for resilience. Because at the end of the day my heart is still beating, so there is still more to live for.
Everyone is on their own journey when they suffer any forms of grief (losing a loved one, losing a job, infidelity). But there comes a time when we need to make a choice as to whether we are going to sink or swim.
Take responsibility for your feelings. Find a way to express them. Then let them go.
If you want to find out about my career change – one of the choices i’ve made in a step forward – head to The Energy Room
Lucy Hone (Resilience expert) – 3 Secrets of Resilient People – Ted Talks Daily