Flowers have somehow become the universal language for sympathy, joy, love and apology (i’m probably missing some)…. Somehow, somewhere, someone started by giving a flower to show an emotion. To make an emotional connection with the other person.
I can’t talk about sending flowers for joy, love and apology, but I can tell you about sending flowers to show sympathy for grief.
I should be grateful for all the flowers we received, and I most certainly am. I’m thankful that we have friends and family who care enough to take time out of their day to send love and sympathy in the form of flowers.
But, i’m talking to you from the perspective of the Mum who has being crippled by the pain and scare of premature labour, the Mum who’s baby’s head was stuck in her cervix for 6 minutes causing immense pressure on his brain resulting in death, the Mum who had to watch the baby she grew inside of her, struggle to cope with life on Earth for 2 days, the Mum who held her baby while he took his last gasp for air, the Mum who walked out of the hospital with a box instead of a carseat. The Mum who now has to come home and watch the flowers die too.
Every grief experience is going to be different and it will be up to you to analyse the situation and figure out if flowers would be more suitable. However, I’ve made a few suggestions below on what to send instead of flowers if, like me, someone close to you loses a baby.
Instead of flowers try….
- Making the couple a dinner meal to either put in the freezer, or to eat that night
- Put together some lunch or healthy snack ideas (these could be packet things like falafal or soups)
- If they have other children, how about putting together freezer meal packs for their kids that they can just nip out of the freezer in time for dinner (this could be things like; home made meat patties, meatloaf, chicken stew, beef stew, mince)
- Sending a food package
- Sending a tree to plant
- Writing a thoughtful card – include a packet of seeds to scatter if you like or a poem
Links that might help you with ideas:
My kids lick the bowl – meal ideas for the grieving parent’s kids
Angel Deliveries – sending food packages